Tools
Everyone wants to know how to build a good life. The good news is you already have all of the tools required. These posts are a reminder, a wake up, and a bit of a new take.
The Tools in the Good Life Tool Box: An Introduction
Nine out of ten times, when I ask couples why they are coming to therapy, they say something like, "We want to learn better communication tools". And nine out of ten times when I ask people who are feeling depressed why they are coming to therapy, they say some...
Tool #1: The Cradle of Compassion, Pt. 1
Compassion is the most important virtue, it is the outgrowth of Grace and the precursor to Love. It is impossible to kill someone with Compassion and Compassion cannot put you in the poor house. Compassion, I assure you, will never leave your heart broken. This is...
The Cradle of Compassion Pt. 2
Picture a loving person putting a tired infant in a cradle. Or even being the "cradle" oneself and holding that baby in your arms. Imagine both how safe and rested the baby feels AND how restfully alive you feel, beholding and nurturing this little being. Those big,...
Tool # 2: The Pipe Cleaner of Creativity
The Tools of Good Living can be taught. Creativity, like Pipe Cleaners, is flexible, colourful, and cheap to come by. It also liberates you.
Tool # 3: The Bird Feeder of Grace
Grace. It is rather difficult to talk about Grace as a thing, a tool. Particularly as there is nothing transactional about Grace, and you can't earn it or become undeserving of it. Grace what we exhibit when we choose to give others (or ourselves) the benefit of the...
Tool #4: The License Plate of Responsibility, pt. 1
What is a license plate but a tool for telling the world "Here I am. I'm covered. I'll do my best, and if something goes south, I'm accountable". This relates to our emotional, spiritual, and psychological worlds, too: We all carry ourselves a bit better when it's...
Tool #5: The Kleenex Wad of Resilience
Resiliance is not just taking the blow, but healing from it. And getting stronger because of it. Any athlete whose mom has shoved a wad of kleenex up her nose to stop a nose bleed in the middle of the game, knows this. The message: Avoid harm but keep a Kleenex ready, just-in-case.
Tool # 6: The Combination Lock of Humility
Hell is not other people, as Sartre said. Hell is defensive people. People who are so afraid of being wrong, or of looking bad, or of getting in trouble that they attack, blame, or get passive agressive. Talking with people who will not accept responsibility for their...