Blog
All the writing that isn’t the Tools

Let Your Values Go Viral, Part 1
Raising empathic kids starts with being a values driven parent. It starts with being the "change you want to see in the world", as Ghandi put it. If you value compassion, hard work, and health, lead with those values. If you make those values happen in your life, you...
If You’ve Been Cheated On
No matter what problems were in your relationship, your partner’s affair is not a reflection on you.
If You’ve Been Unfaithful
You probably didn’t want to hurt your partner. At the core of your soul, this probably goes against everything you believe in. Now, sadly, there are some of you who “stepped-out” who did it to send a message to your lover or spouse. Some of you have been wounded and...
The Smartest Ninja Turtle: Creative, Active, and Artistic
Our little ninjas can be creative and active without being violent.
Mandated Therapy: Can you Turn “Have To” into “Want To”?
Most of my clients come to therapy because they want to heal, grow, and learn about themselves. They usually feel an overwhelming desire to mend their broken hearts and possibly heal their relationships with others. But over the years, I’ve also worked very closely...
Shifting the Golden Rule: Do Unto Others, Sort of
I like the “Golden Rule”: "Do unto others as you would have done unto you". And I do try to do unto others as I would have others to do for me. But, boy oh boy can it ever backfire if you’re too specific about it. In most cases, it seems to be better to think...
Introducing Pear Tree Family Therapy
It's time. A while back it came to me that it was time to to build a practice of my own. There was nothing forcing me to start my own therapy practice. In fact, I'd never been happier with work, clients, or colleagues. But over the years I've developed a firm...
The Zen of Rejection
Often our kids act their worst when we doing our best. This can hurt our parental feelings or even make us bitter, which can make us lose our cool. This post lays out ways to find Zen even in moments of rejection.
Play Catch – not Hardball – with your Loved One’s Emotions
Our emotions are like baseballs that we hope other people catch. Sometimes we throw them hard at people, “You suck! You’re fired!” Sometimes we throw them soft, “I had the worst day. Rub my feet???” Sometimes we throw them like a knuckle ball, and no one sees where they’re going.a